Hovel Hunters International, Ep. 7. Possible Versus Plausible.

So, are we still looking for a house? That is a very good question, but on some level the answer is still probably yes.

I’m also still looking for a cabin in the woods, a cave up in the hills, a spider-hole in the ground, a camper, an RV, a really good tent, backpack and walking shoes; or even just a yurt out on the steppes somewhere.

(He’s looking for a good horse, ladies and gentlemen. That’s what I think. – ed.)

Unfortunately, it has to be in the Province of Ontario or the pension suddenly becomes null and void. Why that should be, I don’t know and there is no one that can properly explain it—not even anyone with the Province of Ontario.

Since I know just how hard it was to buy and maintain a $50,000.00 house on an ODSP benefit of $930.00 a month, (at least in this town), then I guess I got a rough idea of how hard it would be to buy and maintain an $80,000.00 house on a pension of $1,128.00 per month, with a bit more in book sales and part-time work. Also bearing in mind just how fucking hard it is to get Trillium Benefits and sometimes the HST rebate out of the good, kind, decent God-fearing Christian-Canadian volk over at the Canada Revenue Agency.

The first property is on the south end of East St., and it is apparently listed at $69,000.00. You can see that it is a storey and half frame house of wartime vintage. They’ve put on an addition and bumped up the roofline in an attempt to gain some space. The door on the front of the one-car garage is a patio-type slider. What that means is anyone’s guess without taking a walk-through. I don’t plan on doing that anytime soon. A house would have to really grab me—not even so much curb appeal, as in the structural or design sense. This one ain’t too good in that regard.

But buying someone else’s real bad reno job isn’t on the cards at this point. That's because I wouldn't have the finances to do anything about it. That includes emergency repairs, and all of that sort of thing.

The second property isn’t even listed. Supposedly, this one’s going for $80,000.00 The tip is that it’s for sale by owner. Again, not much curb appeal here, but in this price range that’s asking for a lot. The lot appears to be about thirty-five feet wide. It’s probably a hundred feet deep or so. The house is set well back from the sidewalk, which is better than being right on the street. There is a one-car garage. How much house does a single male actually need? Not much, arguably, but I’m the one being asked to sign on the dotted line and this one doesn’t grab me enough to ever want to take a walk-through.

The simple answer is that I understand the benefits of home ownership. I recognize the wonderful results of the power of positive thinking and neural linguistic programming. 

It's a little more cheerful when the sun is out.

Unfortunately, Tony Robbins isn’t the one paying the bills around here.

I am, and that makes a big difference in what is possible—or even plausible. I also understand the value of location, location, location. South East Street isn't quite so desirable as Nelson St., no matter the price or what the building actually looks like.

Thank you for reading.